Back in Bedford

So I’m at the airport on route home from my annual trip back to Englandshire. Bedford to be precise. Sitting on the floor outside smiths, stuffing my face with various chicken sandwiches and trying to avoid the almost infuriating amount of different emotions welling up inside me. Otherwise I will be a nearly 24 year old woman sitting on the floor of the airport either in tears, or having some variation of panic attack.

As it goes, I never usually am as terrified of the flying part of going home as I am when I’m heading here. Usually the going home part is mostly me trying not to make an idiot of myself by being a blubbering wreck  in the middle of the airport (or on the plane… That’s happened before).

Anyways, the reason for these annual trips is that I get to come “home” to see my dad and family and spend some time with them. Which I did (obviously) and had a really great time. I feel that this visit has been better than a few of the others actually. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m getting more used to the travelling part and therefore start the holiday off in a more positive frame of mind or wether it’s because I feel that, the older I’m getting, I’m able to connect better with them on a more “grown up” level.

Now, as one of the biggest daddies girls I have possibly ever known, especially one who hasn’t lived with their dad for the majority of their lives, the part I’m usually most bothered about is how much time I’m going to get with the man himself and… He didn’t disappoint. Okay so he was working a few day but the time we did spend together was great and lovely. I arrived at his house on Sunday afternoon, on Monday morning, I believe, I introduced him to Pokemon go… Yup that game…big mistake… My fifty odd year old dad got right in to it and was asking so many questions about what you have to do and where to go and what different things did and off we went for a walk 😂 I reckon that probably by Wednesday I was regretting that a bit. On Wednesday in fact we went to the aquarium in London, to be honest, it was okay. Like many things in London it was cramped and hot and you couldn’t get in to see half the things for small children rushing in (and obviously they are little so it’s polite to let them go first really) and all the adults trying to get the best shot of the fish. After that hustle and bustle we roamed the streets of London (caught some half decent Pokemon) then went to a little museum called “the clink”. Funnily enough one of the first prisons (I may be wrong). But it was lovely, only small but had some interesting facts in it and you were allowed to pick up most of the torture equipment and stuff that was used so that was fun! That’s all my current memory will allow me to remember of Wednesday…

Thursday was pretty quiet. We went for another walk to catch Pokemon and chilled mostly (again, I’m not 100% because I can’t remember).

On Saturday, yet another walk to catch Pokemon, nothing fantastic though but we did manage to evolve a few between us. Then we went to Milton Keynes to do one of my favourite things… SHOPPING! I went to the Disney shop first and bought a mug and a stitch teddy which, I’ll be honest, I probably didn’t need. But I liked it and I’m a big girl now so I get to spend my pennies on whatever I like 😁 Then we went on to primark and boy did I have fun! I may have gone a little wild but I feel I was very sensible in the particular items that I bought. I love them all! I didn’t think about what would happen when it came to re packing though….

On Saturday night I went for a sleepover at my sister house and it was great. We had a little picnic first with my littlest niece in the garden for dinner and then little one went to bed and it was grown up time. Assisted by a few glasses (okay bottles) of wine, me and my big sister had some great conversation and actually, turns out that we have loads in common and are in to quite a lot of the same things and beliefs. I had such an amazing evening.

Then on Sunday me and big sister woke up (possibly slightly hungover, maybe) and went with dad, my step mum and littlest niece to a vintage car show. Also had a very lovely time there. I originally didn’t think it would be my scene at all but it was lovely. Later on, once we got back home, my big brother and his wife came over and we had a barbecue. Which was also lovely. I feel that I really get on with my brothers wife, she’s lovely and although it seems we are in to some different things I don’t feel that it’s ever been awkward to talk to her really. Now I’m not sure if my memory of our child hood is different from my brothers (it probably is) but I always thought me and him could be quite close a lot of the time, so for that reason I really miss him sometimes and I’m not really sure how to just “have a chat” with him over the phone or anything. Don’t get me wrong, we have and there hasn’t been a problem. But as is a reason to why I am crap at keeping in contact with all of my older siblings, I don’t want to bother them or feel like I’m being annoying little sister so I just don’t instead and then I worry that it seems like I don’t care then…

So anyway I feel like I have digressed a heck of a lot. Basically I had a lovely time and really enjoyed this visit and loved seeing everyone and really felt a part of the family again almost as that is one of my biggest fears about the distance between us all. That every ones lives are moving on and often in quite different directions, and because I’m crap at keeping in touch with everyone I worry that there will be less of a connection the next time we see each other. So far my fears have been very much unfounded. That doesn’t stop me worrying though. There I go again!… I’m off to mosey round an airport as my flights been delayed for another hour… Great fun..X



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