On the 21st March 2018, at 8.30am, I went to the hospital to have my labour induced. All being well, I wasn’t going to be leaving again without baby.
Hubby was with me as usual and again, things got really real, really quick. I couldn’t believe that our baby would be here soon. The last few months before this day seemed to have taken forever. Then suddenly it seemed like they had taken no time at all. I could feel baby wriggling away. This was very reassuring to me given that I hadn’t been feeling him a lot recently.
I arrived fairly optimistic that our little boy would be here very soon despite knowing some women who have been in hospital for days and days with an induction. I was throwing out all the good vibes that our boy would be ready for this though. A midwife came and got us and we were taken to our own little suite which was absolutely lovely. There was a birthing pool incase we wanted it and a strange-looking rope that was hanging from the ceiling. To be honest the rope reminded me a bit of a monkey enclosure in a zoo but I imagine it’s actually very helpful if you need something to hang off during labour. Once we were situated I was hooked up to the CTG monitor to make sure baby was quite happy and everything was okay to go ahead. Thankfully as far as the midwives could tell everything was fine and I was then examined and the 24 hour pessary inserted. I obviously won’t go in to too much detail about that part but it wasn’t comfortable. I had to sit for another hour on the CTG machine just to keep a further eye on baby and then I was free to move about as I pleased. Husband for the most part lounged and dozed on a large, bizarre shaped, foam matressy type thing that I can only assume was to aid women in labour in some way. Not going to lie… he was rather annoying me. He basically had a seemingly slight attitude like he would rather be anywhere else but in the hospital at that time. It felt like I was being more of an inconvenience then actually waiting to give birth to our child.
After a while I was taken off the CTG and was allowed to walk around as I pleased. My mum turned up and we just chatted and filled in the time whilst hubby stayed laying on his mattress. I was put on the CTG monitor a few times throughout the day to make sure that baby was still doing okay. He seemed to be fine apart from a couple of occasions when the midwife said he appeared to be a bit “quiet” so I would have to stay on the monitor a little bit longer until he started moving again. He did and once again I was taken off the monitor and allowed to wonder about. I had started to get some tightenings throughout the day and although not terribly strong they were slightly uncomfortable. At this point I was really starting to worry about how I was going to deal with labour.
We hadn’t told anyone, apart from my mum and hubbys mum and dad, that I was being induced. I didn’t want people asking why or coming to their own conclusions about how it was just my anxiety that was making me worry the baby wasn’t moving and I was being induced for no reason. I also didn’t want people thinking I was taking some sort of easy way out, or that I was just being impatient and just wanted the baby out. Although perhaps towards the end of my pregnancy I had just wanted to meet my little man I still could have waited until I went into labour naturally. I had told my dad that the doctors had suggested an induction but I hadn’t told him what day I was going in on, so even he didn’t have a clue. In this case I didn’t want him to be worrying all day when nothing was really happening.
In the evening my In laws came for a visit and we went for a bite to eat down at the Cafe. Once they left me and hubby tried to get some sleep. By this point the tightenings had all but stopped. I could barely sleep that night. As usual my brain was in overdrive. It had been all day but because I was never really without company or something else to think about I had managed to keep it somewhat under control. I kept thinking about the next day. Wondering how the day would unfold. Would my baby be born tomorrow? Would he be okay? What if something went wrong, or I ended up needing a C-section? Eventually I was so tired that I passed out and before I knew it, it was the next day.
22nd March 2018 – At 8am I’d had enough of sleeping so woke Hubby up and messaged Hubby’s mum. She works in the hospital so we had arranged to meet at the cafe for some breakfast. I was still having the very occasional tightenings but I could barely feel them. On the way back up to our room I said to hubby that I felt bad because I had only seemed to shout at the baby as in ‘telling him off’ for kicking hard or telling him to move his foot out of my ribs. Perhaps if I spoke to him ‘nicely’ he would be more compliant and come out quickly. As we walked up the stairs I rubbed my belly and said gently “Hello baby, this is mummy. If you could be a really good boy and please come out today then that would make mummy and daddy very happy. We can’t wait to meet you….. Also if you could not cause mummy too much pain that would be good too!”
At about 10am the midwife came and examined me again. This time she said she would be able to break my waters. When people say it looks like they are using a big crochet hook, they are not joking. It wasn’t the most pleasant feeling and did feel like someone had burst a balloon down there, although I had always imagined that I would feel a sort of sense of relief from my waters breaking… I did not… if anything the pressure and the tightness got worse but I was mainly just glad that I didn’t have to have a pessary in for another 6 hours. Hubby held my hand whilst my waters were broken and it only took about a minute. My mum had also arrived by this point but she waited outside. Once it was done and I had a little more time on the CTG machine I was encouraged to get up and move around. Hubby had nipped back home to see to the dog and grab a shower and some fresh clothes under the assurance that I would phone him if it was time for the baby to come. Well within the next couple of hours things stated happening. FAST.
Considering a couple of hours ago I basically felt nothing other that slight discomfort as my bump tightened gently, I was now feeling rather intense contractions. At one point whilst I was on the CTG monitor I got very distressed because baby apparently didn’t like it if I was sitting up to much but I couldn’t get comfortable if I lay down a bit. I also felt the overwhelming urge to be sick… As I felt the wave of another contraction coming I started to flap (as in panic and not quite know what to do with myself). I burst in to tears and my mum asked what was wrong. All I could think was that I needed to be sick but I was lying down and didn’t want to sit up because the baby didn’t respond well when I did. I couldn’t concentrate on getting through the contraction because I was so conflicted about what to do. Once the contraction passed, so did the need to be sick. Then another one came and back came the sicky feeling. My mum could see that I was flapping so told me that if I needed to sit up and be sick then to just do it, she said this right at the point when I couldn’t hold it in anymore, sat bolt upright and projectile vomited over her, myself and my bed. Lovely. I also felt like I needed to go to the toilet (as in number two) and my mum tried to tell me it would just be the contractions. I told her that it wasn’t and I did in fact need to go to the toilet.
I managed to heave myself off the bed and into the bathroom and sat down. Contractions were still coming and I was right, I did need to toilet. I realised how very comfortable I was sitting on the loo as well and may have had a slight nap. Pretty much by this stage any reservations I had about people seeing my private body parts had gone out the window. Any dignity I had completely left the building. I had to call my mum in to the bathroom to help me and hold the sick bowl because I was being sick at basically every contraction so my hands were used to hold on to the toilet railings. The pressure down below was so intense that I felt like I couldn’t move from the loo! I even remember telling my mum that I would need to move because I couldn’t have my baby on a toilet. Which honestly at that point felt like a real possibility it was going to happen. By noon I was feeling so much pain that my mum went to go and ask if we could use the birthing pool for me to have a bath and try to soothe my back a little. Unfortunately, the midwife was just coming in to start me on the pitocin drip. So once again I was hooked up to the CTG machine to monitor baby and this was it now! Baby was coming and hopefully very soon. Luckily as well, just as they started the drip, Hubby turned up again. He had been like an entirely different person from the day before. Today he couldn’t have been supportive enough. My mum filled him in on what had been happening. It was only at this point that I asked the midwife for some pain relief. Up until now I hadn’t had anything but I knew if the contractions were going to get worse that there was no way I would cope. I went for the gas and air in the end and felt so much better. It felt like being drunk. I was aware of everything / most things going on around me but I didn’t particularly care… I was given a fluid drip as well because I was still being so sick.
Contractions starting coming thick and fast. Hubby was on one side and my mum and mother in law on the other. I tried to get in to a zone and breathe through each contraction but I had noticed my body (not me) had started pushing. The midwife kept telling me not to push so I was puffing on the gas and air like there was no tomorrow trying to stop it. I tried to explain that it wasn’t me consciously making the desision to push and at this point I really had no control over what my body was doing. The midwife had said how rare it would be if i needed to push so soon, especially for my first baby and that I would apparently “be breaking a lot of rules” if I actually did need to push just now. Hubby casually said to her ” we like to break the rules” and they had a bit of a laugh about it. However, once she examined me and another midwfe also gave me a check over, she realised that actually I did need to push and was I given to go ahead to do so. According to my mum and mother in law, once I was given the OK I threw the gas and air away and gave Hubby my elbow (I have no idea why my elbow but it has since become a bit of a family joke). After a few pushes, out he came.
At 2.37pm, on the 22nd March 2018, our little boy was born.
Leo Jack and Me 