In Lockdown

Well its been a while… but what better time to write a blog post that when you literally can’t go anywhere.

I’ve been on annual leave from work now for almost two weeks. At the start of my annual leave the Corona Virus (COVID-19) was something we had to be wary of but all the advice we had been given was to wash our hands thoroughly and be careful when going out. Now we have reached a situation where we aren’t supposed to be going out at all! Even up until last week I was one of those people who wasn’t taking this as seriously as I should have been. I have since seen and read much more information and feel better informed.

I’m not going to pretend to know a lot about it because I don’t. I don’t suppose anyone really does, that’s the point. COVID-19 is new and it’s scary and it IS killing people. All I know is that right now I’m terrified to actually got back to work. I want to stay in my safe little house bubble and not have to venture out in to the big bad world unless absolutely necessary, or maybe to very cautiously walk the dog. I don’t really have a choice. I am what is classed as a key worker. I’m a support worker for adults with learning and physical disabilities. If me and my colleagues don’t go to work then the people we look after will die, pandemic or not.

I feel so lucky to have been able to spend these last couple of weeks with my family in our little bubble as so many front line staff haven’t. For some, who knows when they will get to see members of family again. I know for instance some hospital staff have been isolating themselves from their partners and children.

I write this post with no aim. No beginning, middle or end. This isn’t a story. this is how I feel. Right at this moment, that is scared and confused and unclear of what to do as I’m sure many others are feeling. I have cried on and off over these last few days, purely because of my fear of the unknown and what is yet to come. I am a person who has to have as much control over my life as possible so right now I feel like I’m on a complete nosedive.

These are confusing times and something that I don’t think any of us would have expected to happen in our lifetime. It almost does feel apocalyptic. What with shelves in supermarkets being emptied and no one being on the streets and this is just the beginning. Things will get worse before they get better. Rest assured though, we will get through this! One way or another and with quite a few bumps and scrapes but we will get through this. So if you can then please stay at home because believe me when I say, I really really wish that I could.